Monday, October 18, 2010

Mermaids are totally real guys!

Listen, I swear this isn't me, I swear this isn't me.

I'm so glad that mermaids are real, and that I am one, and that I can sing so well underwater. The end.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Glamor Shots

I thought perhaps we should post a picture of ourselves, so all of our many, many new best friends can get an idea of what kind of folks they're about to be bff-ing with. Check us out!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Little Slice of Somethin Nice

Since this is a reserved blog for peace and happiness, I want to promote just how lovely (peaceful?) a little dose of sugar is by linking to a recipe I'll hope to make one day, but until then will drool over. World Peace? You have a new friend and ally inPUMPKIN PIE CUPCAKES

Honesty, our best policy.

Okay, since we're all just getting to know each other over here, I thought I should get something out in the open.

I watch Real Housewives. All of them.

I know how trashy it is, I know how fake it is, and I know how incredibly angry I get over the success of these hoards of terrible, rotten-on-their-insides people, but I won't - nay - can't stop watching them.

In light of this, and my love for drinking a classy lady wine every now and always - I am SUPER excited that our favorite pop-eyed NY Housewife is launching a CLASSY brand of Pinot!

I'm pre-ordering a case of this 14.99 white wine, which I can assume, is always handed to you thusly:


Pee-Wee Countdown

We are officially 2, count them, TWO (!!!!!!!!!) weeks away from Bailey Vance realizing a dream she never thought possible: Seeing Pee-Wee Herman, in the flesh, on the Broadway Stage. The playhouse is real, and Regis knows it too. That's why they are plundering M&Ms to stock up for the good times to come. Stay tuned for my plethora of Pee-Wee press that will be popping up...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Intelligent People Drink More

Another excuse to encourage functional alcoholism - which, if I'm extrapolating correctly, implies genius, correct?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Liisa's Future Lovahs

Nothing says "Child, Get Over It," like a few swift kicks of romantic justice to harden your heart. Nothing says "romantic justice you say?" like taking a stroll down memory lane and fondly recalling some past special-someones, who also happen to take special mugshots...You'll never forget Jose Luis Ruiz , our one-eyed casanova who managed to land himself time in the slammer for assault on a government official! But even better is Jeffry Bolivar Landries who's face looks like it should be half-priced at Toys R Us for getting dented with the other play-doh cans when they fell off the truck. Oops! Lesson? Don't violate parol!!!

Bailey's New Boyfriends... are Girlfriends

First of all, I want to congratulate you on a very successful coming out day yesterday. We were all so proud of the strength you had in being so honest with everyone you love during coffee hour after church. And furthermore - to come out as being in a polyamorous relationship with two ladies! Well, I have to say, my opinion of you has grown. Let's talk about these two ladies, shall we?
Well, I was very excited to meet Navoris Lamar Morrison - she seems like a sweetheart, though I think she was still quite cranky from rolling out of bed. Or maybe she's just into that hipster-effortlessly-mussed-hair thing, I'm not sure. Either way, I was worried when she mentioned to me that she had recently been arrested for, of all things, assaulting a female, but was eased when I heard it was simply a misunderstanding over hair wax.

And Lynda Gail Geruschat, well - at first I was worried she was only going to be interested in Cathy desk calendars and the future uses of the Dewey Decimal System, but when she told me she was arrested for driving while intoxicated with her cat, I knew she was ready to party. Welcome, new sister wives!

The Miners are Free!


Now that we're done with the small stuff -

Greetings Future Needers of our Self-Help Empire!

Looking to escape your not great job? Desperate for some sass in all the right and wrong places? Trying to be our friend, but unsure how, so you'll read our blog and pretend like we are friends in real life?

Awesome, we love you too (and need an outlet for the copious amounts of sass we produce).

Bailey and Liisa have been perusing the internet like it's their job for quite a while (and at times, it is their job, Boom!) so they/we (can't decide on our tense so we choose option D- ALL OF THE ABOVE) wanted to create our own space for sharing, caring, and, most importantly, kvetching. A place to accumulate the happy and retreat to during the dark times.

On that note - here is an adorable little ginger kid talking about how much he loves space - HE LOVES IT!!

Kisses forever-

Bailey and Liisa