Bailey's New Boyfriends... are Girlfriends

First of all, I want to congratulate you on a very successful coming out day yesterday. We were all so proud of the strength you had in being so honest with everyone you love during coffee hour after church. And furthermore - to come out as being in a polyamorous relationship with two ladies! Well, I have to say, my opinion of you has grown. Let's talk about these two ladies, shall we?

Well, I was very excited to meet Navoris Lamar Morrison - she seems like a sweetheart, though I think she was still quite cranky from rolling out of bed. Or maybe she's just into that hipster-effortlessly-mussed-hair thing, I'm not sure. Either way, I was worried when she mentioned to me that she had recently been arrested for, of all things, assaulting a female, but was eased when I heard it was simply a misunderstanding over hair wax.

And Lynda Gail Geruschat, well - at first I was worried she was only going to be interested in Cathy desk calendars and the future uses of the Dewey Decimal System, but when she told me she was arrested for driving while intoxicated with her cat, I knew she was ready to party. Welcome, new sister wives!