In Honor of Mr. Murray

We here at Solving World Peace solute your amazing characters, dry wit, and, of course, that eye roll. Where else would I have learned to perfect such eye dances and severely irritate my parents at a younger age? Choosy Moms Choose (this) Gif! Hat's off to you, Bill Murray. Check it out HERE!

Well then... How big is God's boner?

"What inspired you to become God's pornographer?

I have always felt sorry for God. If you're a deity, the price of monotheism is eternal celibacy, and that can't be much fun. More recently, it occurred to me that God's abstinence isn't good for anyone. The universe is not ageing very gracefully, given the preponderance of dark energy. So I started to think that it would be a good thing if God got busy again, procreatively speaking. After all, it's been nearly 14 billion years since the big bang. Since God doesn't acknowledge the existence of other divinities, let alone recognize their potential sex appeal, I figured my best option would be to make some celestial porn."

Guy Makes Porn for God - gets talking all about how erotic universes are and whatnot.

So hot.

Hey Girl, It's Your Birfday

No better way to greet the weekend then by celebrating with the one and only HEY GIRL phenom! Happy Birthday, Mr. Gosling. Hope you, Dead Man's Bones, and your shirtless self enjoy!

Happy Birthday Boy!

Happy Birthday my dear Ryan Gosling.  Today is your 30th birthday, and I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how wonderful you are, since you always have something thoughtful for me, like taking in the special moments.

Or how you always want to protect me.

Or how you are just so, incredibly, nearly disturbingly attractive.

And your multiple talents!  I mean, everyone knows what a fabulous actor you are (Half Nelson guys?) but a musician too?  This song you wrote for me - I mean, you know how much I love zombies - but zombies in a love song?


This love was meant to be.  Hey guy - Happy Birthday.

[pictures via fuckyeahryangosling (obvs)]

Freak Out in 3...2...1...

nope! world peace isn't solved just yet, but why not get into a funky groove while we wait? Let's join our new best friend- kid who's got all the smoove moves, in the most adorable packaging!

Just Grandmas being Grandmas

Hey. Remember that time that your parents went away for a vacation, and you had to spend 2 weeks with your grandma? And you were like "So laaaaaaaame" outside, but inside you were totally excited to goof around and eat homemade cookies for two weeks? Yeah, she's on you tube now, letting the world know how fun she is. And she brought her best friend, your Auntie Lainey.

P.S. This is B and me, plus 60 years.

P.P.S. I like to think these ladies hang out with these ladies. Best knitting club EVER.

Alcohol Knowledge - We drop it.

While an article outlining some of the damages of alcohol MIGHT not seem like the perfect Tuesday happiness, learning more about what we are doing when we're five Bud Light's deep - is.

Lifehacker has an article on what alcohol actually does to our brains and bodies. Quick fun facts - alcohol doesn't kill brain cells, aspirin will hurt you if you take it before drinking, and young men can drink more alcohol than young ladies, but this ability decreases with age, as ladies' stays the same. In other words, when I become a old tough broad, I will drink my old man (more) under the table (around 50-60 years old). Also, its adorable how they talk about *ahem* performance problems after drinking. It's like my aunt is writing it (I love my aunt)!

Another reason its SWP-worthy? Science. It rocks.

GRAMMAR

Day One, Ladies and Gentlemen. Let's not forget our grammar.

My favorite tiny demon is free!

I'm so happy for his face to once again haunt my dreams, and his robot voice to stick in my ears until his dirty words flow out my mouf.

I'm glad you're back, boo. Let's keep this strange love affair going.

Teeny Tiny Thursday Cute Fix

This video is the cutest. Panda puppet, head bands, adorable dresses, AND Scottish accents. Also, the song's about love.

What is Stronger Than Bleach?

ANSWER

Well, if the door tells me to do it..

Happy Weekend! Let's do this thing!

One Week, One Day

PEE-WEE COUNTDOWN

Mermaids are totally real guys!

Listen, I swear this isn't me, I swear this isn't me.

I'm so glad that mermaids are real, and that I am one, and that I can sing so well underwater. The end.

Glamor Shots

I thought perhaps we should post a picture of ourselves, so all of our many, many new best friends can get an idea of what kind of folks they're about to be bff-ing with. Check us out!

Little Slice of Somethin Nice

Since this is a reserved blog for peace and happiness, I want to promote just how lovely (peaceful?) a little dose of sugar is by linking to a recipe I'll hope to make one day, but until then will drool over. World Peace? You have a new friend and ally inPUMPKIN PIE CUPCAKES

Honesty, our best policy.

Okay, since we're all just getting to know each other over here, I thought I should get something out in the open.

I watch Real Housewives. All of them.

I know how trashy it is, I know how fake it is, and I know how incredibly angry I get over the success of these hoards of terrible, rotten-on-their-insides people, but I won't - nay - can't stop watching them.

In light of this, and my love for drinking a classy lady wine every now and always - I am SUPER excited that our favorite pop-eyed NY Housewife is launching a CLASSY brand of Pinot!

I'm pre-ordering a case of this 14.99 white wine, which I can assume, is always handed to you thusly:

Pee-Wee Countdown

We are officially 2, count them, TWO (!!!!!!!!!) weeks away from Bailey Vance realizing a dream she never thought possible: Seeing Pee-Wee Herman, in the flesh, on the Broadway Stage. The playhouse is real, and Regis knows it too. That's why they are plundering M&Ms to stock up for the good times to come. Stay tuned for my plethora of Pee-Wee press that will be popping up...

Intelligent People Drink More

Another excuse to encourage functional alcoholism - which, if I'm extrapolating correctly, implies genius, correct?

Why Intelligent People Drink More Alcohol

Liisa's Future Lovahs

Nothing says "Child, Get Over It," like a few swift kicks of romantic justice to harden your heart. Nothing says "romantic justice you say?" like taking a stroll down memory lane and fondly recalling some past special-someones, who also happen to take special mugshots...You'll never forget Jose Luis Ruiz , our one-eyed casanova who managed to land himself time in the slammer for assault on a government official! But even better is Jeffry Bolivar Landries who's face looks like it should be half-priced at Toys R Us for getting dented with the other play-doh cans when they fell off the truck. Oops! Lesson? Don't violate parol!!!

Bailey's New Boyfriends... are Girlfriends

First of all, I want to congratulate you on a very successful coming out day yesterday. We were all so proud of the strength you had in being so honest with everyone you love during coffee hour after church. And furthermore - to come out as being in a polyamorous relationship with two ladies! Well, I have to say, my opinion of you has grown. Let's talk about these two ladies, shall we?

Well, I was very excited to meet Navoris Lamar Morrison - she seems like a sweetheart, though I think she was still quite cranky from rolling out of bed. Or maybe she's just into that hipster-effortlessly-mussed-hair thing, I'm not sure. Either way, I was worried when she mentioned to me that she had recently been arrested for, of all things, assaulting a female, but was eased when I heard it was simply a misunderstanding over hair wax.

And Lynda Gail Geruschat, well - at first I was worried she was only going to be interested in Cathy desk calendars and the future uses of the Dewey Decimal System, but when she told me she was arrested for driving while intoxicated with her cat, I knew she was ready to party. Welcome, new sister wives!

The Miners are Free!

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Now that we're done with the small stuff -

Greetings Future Needers of our Self-Help Empire!

Looking to escape your not great job? Desperate for some sass in all the right and wrong places? Trying to be our friend, but unsure how, so you'll read our blog and pretend like we are friends in real life?

Awesome, we love you too (and need an outlet for the copious amounts of sass we produce).

Bailey and Liisa have been perusing the internet like it's their job for quite a while (and at times, it is their job, Boom!) so they/we (can't decide on our tense so we choose option D- ALL OF THE ABOVE) wanted to create our own space for sharing, caring, and, most importantly, kvetching. A place to accumulate the happy and retreat to during the dark times.

On that note - here is an adorable little ginger kid talking about how much he loves space - HE LOVES IT!!

Kisses forever-

Bailey and Liisa